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The Chelsea hierarchy stunned fans this morning 1st of April by announcing that Italian manager has been handed a new five year contract.

The club is heralding the announcement as a reward for the club dominating possession and bringing consistency and predictability to the club’s play.

The guarantee of Europa League football also seems to have helped secure Sarriball as the future of the club on the 1st of April 2019

Club Spokesperson told us that a bigwig nobody knows but has all the power in the club had said the following

Possession is important, we have all the possession and that makes us very happy.

We also like the predictability of the substitutions as it allows us to calculate game bonuses in advance. For example we know already that we don’t have to worry about giving Callum Hudson Odoi a Premier League starts bonus.

This is very helpful for admin.

Secret club bigwig

No-one has bothered to ask the fans their opinion on the manager just yet, so we thought we would find this dated and out of context YouTube video to fully prove our point!

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