Papy Djilobodji Chelsea

Chelsea have once again gone out and deliberately spited every poorly spoken pundit, particularly those who have played for Liverpool by signing Papy Djilobodji.

Not only will he be a commentators nightmare but fans will also take a bit of time getting used to pronouncing the name of our new defender from Nantes. This is why signing John Stones would have been better, as Al Murray would say “a beautiful British name”.

British pundits and fans struggle with even the simplest foreign name, stumbling over accents silent vowels and a plethora of other factors that mean that we rarely pronounce a players surname the way they do in his homeland.

With Azpilicueta Chelsea fans came up with a simple yet culturally offensive solution, we just call him Dave. The player does not seem to mind and it was a simple solution.

So if Azpilicueta is now “Dave” what should we call Djilobdji?

Although he will likely just be known as Papy, my personal preference when using his surname would be to call him Jeff. It’s short simple and effective, not even the most heavily accented Glaswegian element of our support could trip up on this one.

It would allow us to bask in the glory of Paul Merson making regular gaffes, safe in the knowledge that we will never suffer his fate. ¬†Always thinking of the pennies this could take off, “Papy Jeff” would make a great name to print on the back of shirts and lend him to immediate cult status across the league.

Ok so this post is a little fanciful but it’s been a tough few weeks to be a Blues fan, time to bring the fun back.

I look forward to seeing whether Papy Jeff will be hit of miss for Chelsea for the rest of the season.

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